Funny how involuntary thoughts can be, even if they're the very opposite of what you really believe. This thought flashed through me like a maddened quark; a common precursor to an avalanche of unbridled opinions: I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry.
What set it off? You'll love this: marriage. Practice in selfishness. Aided egoism. As a rule? Nope, no sir, absolutely not. But how it allows for the potential, and how few couples actually come together to love the world beyond themselves.
I'm not sorry. It's about living for sugar lips or Mr. Right, eventually charming children, and with enough time an extended family. Neighbors and church friends over for coffee or beer. Shoot the shat. And the outside world is freezing. And you, with your warm-blooded selfishness, have all the fire to change things.
But it's love for other people. That it is. But not free love. The love that undermines, that brightens the world of another person, but not because you really choose it, not most of the time, and for many people hardly ever. The love that chooses you and therefore is at most minimally you. Affective, animalistic love, where the line between human and previous primates is blurred to oblivion. It's all exclusively about family for a pack of orangutans in Indonesia, but you, dear sir, dear madame, are welded with a bit of God. You're called to a higher living that you can't deny without denying your essential humanity.
So stop parading your selfishness through pictures of your committed lover, half bald or half insane. Show me that you know authentic love -- love with continuity, love beyond boundaries, the only love that you are in control of.
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